The Devil Who Tries to Wear Prada
by fatimacullen
Summary: All drabbles based on Blair's life. Funny. But you won't get it unless you understand the dark humour. lol.


Okay so here's my version of all the zany stuff that happens throughout the day at LBP

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_**morning**_

_Blair P.O.V._

As I stepped thru the doors at school and passed the hot chocolate stand, I couldnt help but wish i was here earlier to buy some. _God!, Im late again._

I had this habit of coming to school when the second hand would just quiver to reach the 12 mark, threating the bell to ring. I quickly manuevered my way through the stupid and crowded hallways. "shit" i thought to myself when i saw Asteroid.(i wont use his real name for obvious reasons:) Okay so let me do a rewind. Freshman Year. Fickle me. and the grade 11 hottie. I didnt stand a chance. I hate to admit but i was freaking _obsessed _with him. Literally. I knew where his locker was, his homeroom, his classes, his frends, and i would turn the meanest shade of green if i saw a girl within 2 miles of him. Yeah. That was the past. But still now, it made me a tad bit uneasy when i passed him in the hallways, cuz if we made eyecontact, it felt like he knew i had a crush on him or the fact i drooled over him. _shudder. _ Okay so muttering a mantra in my head"You gotta be strong Blair, he's nothing now" amongst many colourful profanities i muttered within my mind at my complete incompetence when it came to him. _UGH!_ anyhows, i was going upstairs when i saw Scarfboy. Um yeah. _him. _ Well this time it _was not _my fault or even my idea. It was Jenny. She was the one who said how he should be my future husband and all that. I _did not_ agree. The boy was weird. He wore a scarf around his neck all year round. He had patchy stubble and he was skinny. Not my future romp if you ask me.

I got to my locker, unscathed, and walked- my Queen B walk. I got there and as always, Vanessa was there. I think i did something major to upset the heavens last year cuz this girl was in my class, had her locker right next to mine, almost always ate with my crew at lunch. Yeah. Life sucks. Well then i brightened up when i saw two of my besties, Serena and Jenny. Yeah Serena... she's my tall friend. She's tall and funny and loves to display fashion mags in the form of her attire. Then there was Jenny, my cute, short friend. She was the quiet one who was loud in the deep abyss of her room. Yeah, she could have a metal rock band, if she wanted. And then there was Vanessa. The unwanted. The Anti-Christ. The Devil who tries to wear Prada. get the message?

Well i liked all of my classes, especially Business Studies. Well there was this cutie who sat at the back of the room who caught my eye the day i was over Asteroid. Yeah. The Day. I mean I'm no whore or anything, but I need my forms of entertainment. lol. And then he has this adorable crooked smile and his sexy scar over his right eyebrow that drives me mad like a cat in heat. Yeah. Its that bad. And then you can't forget his sex hair. Yeah. His adorable hair that is messed up naturally and still looks named him McDreamy. Oh McDreamify me baby. lol

Me, Serena, and Jenny _own_ that class. We sit up front and everyone knows us and we're pretty popular. In a good way. Then there's my HomeEc class. There's this pretty cute guy in there. We like to call him Boytoy A, seeing as he's a player. He went thru 3 girls within a week. Yeah. I dont lust over him, i simply think he's funny, and a nice guy to be around. But Serena thinks so otherwise. She thinks he's a "skeezeball with no life whatsoever who likes women too much". Wow. Strong feelings eh? But then again, love does spring from hate. Ha. Id love to see _anything_ happening between the two of them. Ok so the morning pretty much went like this: locker, glaring at Vanessa, nudge from Serena, English class, locker, another 2 minutes of glaring, then business class, drooling over McDreamy, and locker and lunch.

_**lUNCH**_

_Blair POV_

"Hey Jenny can i sit with you guys?" Vanessa asked in her annoyingly nasal voice. _Sure Vanessa, why dont you go dig a hole and hibernate for the next 4 years as well? _i thought acidly. "Sure Vanessa. Not a problem." Jenny replied. Yes MY bff Jenny is like Mother freaking Teresa. She is too nice for her own good. Serena was throwing me knowing looks bcuz she knew i was threatning to explode. Ok so rule number 1: Queen B always maintins her cool. Even if ppl like Vanessa are there. Always. --Yeeah. i followed that rule a lot, but my friends made sure i dont slip up. Ah well. The joys of highschool.

Well at lunch The Anti Christ spotted her frends and skipped over to them. (Caution, plz do not imagine her skipping. I beg you. For your sake)

I breathed a sigh of relief and was thanking the heavens when she came back. That was when i went back to brooding and mumbling incoherent profanities at many things. "Hey Serena, we need to meet over the break to finish our project." Vanessa said. I was apalled. I mean what the hell? I turned to Serena to gauge her reaction but she was good at being Face. She calmly replied" call me", or something along those lines. I was too busy trying not to laugh my ass off. After she left, im like "i hope you have a nice break, S". "Shut up. I cant believe we have to meet over the break. It is a freaking break!" she replied. "wow" said Jenny.

The rest of the day went pretty good. I did grow the ovaries to roll my eyes at Asteroid when he looked at me for more than a minute. Ha. serves him right.

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I shall update soon my darlings. Lol. this was a tribute thingy to mi frends Serena and Jenny.


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